What Could Have Been
by xRae Asakurax
Summary: He never said a word about how he really felt, but it's too late now. PJ Slash


**Rae:** Hey guys! Yes, I'm still stuck in the Transformers universe. Now I just can't stop drawing them or writing fics. Anyway, regardless, here's a sad little tribute to my favorite pairing, Jazz/Prowl. It was inspired by a beautiful pic titled 'Jazz Mourning' on deviantart by an artist called 'plantman-exe'. It's such a sad piece, and I just had to write something to it. So, here it is! Enjoy!

I don't own Transformers in any way, shape or form.

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Jazz grinned unrepentantly as Prowl's doorwings twitched in annoyance. "You helped Sideswipe?" he asked, unamused.

"Well, sure. I mean, it was a great prank an' I wanted in, so he let me." He couldn't help the quick giggle that escaped him when Prowl's face turned exasperated.

"You realize he's going to be rather fragged off at you for not being caught with him, right?"

"Eh, I was smart enough t'get my aft into gear. Ain't my fault if he wasn't."

"I should march you down to see Optimus right now and let him deal with you," growled the tactician.

"So why ain't ya?" Jazz settled more comfortably into the chair he was currently perched on.

"I have no evidence for one thing, and for another you'd get me back somehow, and that wouldn't be pleasant." Prowl let a cascade of air escape his vents noisily. "You are, by far, the most confusing, and dare I say annoying, mech I have ever met."

"That'd be me," laughed the saboteur. "Used t'give my teachers hell at school." Prowl just shook his head and picked up a datapad off his desk. He slid his slight frame into his office chair and proceeded to ignore Jazz in favor of reading the report. Jazz was quite happy to watch the second-in-command instead of talk.

Quite when he'd fallen for the rather up-tight, by-the-book Datsun was unclear to him, but what he did know was that he'd fallen hard. His optics raked over Prowl's frame, taking in every detail from the smooth front bumper that guarded the mech's Spark to the black and white doorwings sweeping straight out from his back and sitting taut.

Of course, he'd rather keep his feelings to himself, not least because Prowl never seemed inclined to a romantic relationship of any kind with any mech or femme. Their friendship was too valuble to the saboteur to lose by a stupid slip of the tongue. Jazz had asked him repeatedly about past lovers, but the tactician had clammed up and refused to speak until a topic change was initiated. This led him to playing low, subtly flirting wherever and whenever possible, saying things that had double meanings, things like that. Prowl showed no sign as having picked up on the hints, or if he had he was ignoring them. And Jazz could live with that.

--

_I never told you how much you meant to me._

--

'_Sorry guys, weather forecast says this hail storm ain't gonna let up for a while. Looks like you're on your own - we can't send anyone else out in this._' Blaster sounded apologetic, though his voice was distorted badly by the weather.

'_That's okay, Blaster, we'll manage. Prowl out._' The tactician glanced over at Jazz, who was staring out of the mouth of the cave in which they had managed to shelter to escape the hail storm. He seemed to be deep in thought about something; there was always this strange expression he'd wear when thinking hard, and it was currently drawn boldly across his face. He must be really deep in thought.

Strange how Prowl could never put a word to that expression. Jazz wasn't a complicated mech, not usually, despite his uncanny ability to overload his logic circuits on a daily basis. His moods and expressions were normally very simple - he was a very hip-n-happening bot, so he was very often in a good, and somewhat mischievous, mood. And it was the little things, Prowl noticed, that made him happier. Another's appreciation for his help, or the joy of a successful prank to name but a couple.

What the saboteur was thinking about was anyone's guess. Prowl kept his mouth shut, despite his longing to know. He'd learned that if you asked Jazz what he was thinking about while he had that expression on, he'd snap out of it, smile widely and say 'nothing'.

Which was complete bull, but Prowl never pressed.

Finally, Jazz seemed to come out of his reverie and turned to Prowl with a slightly sad smile. "Hey Prowler? Mind if I ask you a bit of a strange question?"

The tactician ignored the nickname. "Of course, Jazz. Shoot."

"Well, say there was this one mech who y'really liked, who ya'd do anythin' fer, but they never saw you as more'n a friend. What would you do?"

Prowl hid his surprise at the question; whatever it was he thought Jazz would have been contemplating, it certainly wasn't that. "I...don't know," he replied, honestly. "I couldn't say. I've never been in that situation."

"I thought as much." The Porsche lapsed into silence once more, and didn't speak again until the next morning when the hail storm finally stopped.

--

_I never knew how much I meant to you._

--

Jazz watched in sheer horror as the shuttle carrying Ratchet, Ironhide, Brawn and his beloved Prowl exploded in an impressive fireworks show of red, orange and yellow fire and debris. He felt his Spark clench painfully in on itself, and not relaxing. A scream was being vaguely acknowledged by his systems, a scream he came to realize fairly quickly was his.

No, it was impossible.

His Prowl, his beautiful, logical, faithful Prowl, gone. Jazz sank to his knees as his legs gave out from under him. He raised a hand to his cheeks and found them wet with tears he hadn't realized he was crying. He felt someone wrap their arms around him in a reassuring hug, but he felt empty inside. Nothing could bring back his love, no matter how hard he tried. His intakes hitched in an aguished sob.

He barely registered First Aid's harried, yelled instructions to the other Autobots to get out the way, barely registered when Aid started swearing much like Ratchet when his systems started shutting down one by one as he slipped into shock. His final thoughts before he allowed the darkness threatening to swallow him up to take him were, '_I never told you how much you meant to me. Now you're gone forever, but hear me this time. I love you._'

--

_I always loved you. I should have told you, but now I'll never get the chance. I'm so sorry._

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**Rae:** Told you it was sad. But regardless, hope you enjoyed, and please review! Muchas gracias!


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